


Shattered

by WordObsessed



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Dark Sides, Death, Depression, Gen, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, cursing, yes this gets deep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 20:02:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordObsessed/pseuds/WordObsessed
Summary: There is a logical theory called the Broken  Gear Theory. This theory proves to be the tipping point between life and death.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing Shattered back in December, when I first starting having some of my worst bouts of suicidal thoughts. This isn't a carefully planned out angsty story using suicide as a plot device. I'm a damaged, scared, hopeful person who projects on characters and writes as an escape. I write so that I don't die, and to maybe save someone else if I'm lucky. This is my cutting. There's a quote out there by someone that says "Writing is an intellect's way of bleeding." I may not be an intellect, but this is my blood sacrifice.  
> I'm going to go full out, novel style, and do a dedication, since this is my biggest writing project ever. I dedicate this to myself, and my beta readers, who are some of my best friends. Regs, Ev, and Kam.  
> What I hope people get out of this story is that things get better. A Halmark card worthy statement, I know. But it's true. To all of you, who are just like me. On the verge of broken. On the verge of Shattered. It gets better. You gingerly pick up the pieces and keep going. You will keep going. I'm glad you're here. And for now, enjoy my story

Logic is methodical. Logic never falters. Logic is precise. Logic never strays from the ruled path. There is a logical theory called the BrokenGear Theory. Imagine a machine that operates using a series of gears. Every gear serves a purpose. With one gear missing, the entire operation falls apart. If one gear is broken, the machine is broken as well. The broken gear must then be thrown out and the other gears rearranged so that the machine can continue to function. This method has been proven and declared as fact. Logic deals only in facts.

Fact: If the machine in this analogy were to be replaced with Thomas, that would make the sides the gears

Fact: There are five total gears. All of them are needed

Fact: Once before, a functioning gear was removed, which lead to the machine breaking down. It proved the theory

Fact: The only exception to this rule was if one gear was broken. Then it must be thrown out so that the machine must continue to function

Fact: There was one broken gear in the machine that needed taken care of. It was his job to do that.

"Patton? Roman?" Virgil's voice, laced with anxiety and rising in volume tore through the silence of the hallway. "We have a problem!"


	2. Chapter 2

Fact: Reminders are usually placed to make the person creating the reminders remember a certain thing at a certain time so that the reminder can be acted upon

That was Logan's initial intent. They were simple reminders. Meant to remind him of his broken gear theory, so that he didn't forget his task.

It didn't start out with cuts. Those were last. It started with punches and scratches. He would pound on his own forearms in fits of anger and create swirling patterns of scratches stretching from his shoulders all along his chest and stomach. Red, angry lines that burned, serving their purpose. But eventually, even that wasn't enough. So he resorted to what he knew had would it would come to sooner or later. It had just been sooner.

There were going to be six. Then it would stop. But it became twelve. Then eighteen. Always multiples of six. He never lost count, even when he ran out of room on his arms. The cuts bled down to his stomach, then his legs. Shoulders to wrists. The bottom of his ribs to his hips. Thighs to ankles. He was covered in them. Yet no one ever found out. Olive oil, to speed the healing process. Long sleeved polo shirts. Pants. Pounds of makeup when that couldn't be achieved. Countless coverups, waiting. Biding his time. It had to be perfect. He would have to be removed at the ideal time, when things could settle in the wake of his death.

Death.

Occasionally, he would experience flashes of ~~clarity~~ madness, when he wondered what in the name of Newton he was doing. It would happen when he was rinsing his razor or one of the other sides noticed a weird mark on his ankle. But it was quickly resolved with a shake of the head, a quick lie, and another round of cuts. Was this what addiction felt like? No. It was simply being methodical.


	3. Chapter 3

" _Finally_ ," Logan breathed. It was finally the perfect time. It had been too long already, he could hardly wait. He even made an effort to interact with the rest of the sides, more cheery than usual. Patton seemed excited, and Logan could almost hear what they would say in an hour, or even as soon as he left the room.

"Logan seems so happy today! I really think he's feeling better!"

Because even with his best efforts, the others had caught on that Logan wasn't feeling... the best. They had caught onto the numbness that the realization about his theory had given him. But they had only realized an infinitesimal fraction of the truth, so he wasn't going to worry.

Almost wanting to start humming with joy, Logan locked his door and began the first steps.

Pulling his carefully written- well, he supposed one could call it a suicide note, but he preferred to call it his note of explanation-out of the box under his bed, he carefully taped it to his bathroom mirror. It detailed his gear theory, outlining all the ways his death would benefit them. They would understand. They would agree. They would thank him.

Then he pulled out his blade. It wasn't some tiny razor. It was a beautiful, red handled butcher's knife, sharpened to a point. He pressed it gleefully to his wrist, not slicing, but pressing gently, so that a drop of blood rolled down. A laugh burst out of his mouth. Then he took a breath, steadying himself, and angled the blade, beginning the real thing.

The only catch was that dying hurt a lot more than he had anticipated. As the first cut dug in, he wasn't worried. But as he began to push deeper, he wondered why he hadn't devised something easier. Perhaps hanging himself or jumping down a tall flight of stairs or off of a high building, Sherlock style.

Before he could realize or even stop himself, a scream tore its way out of his throat. But he couldn't stop. So he continued to scream and push the knife deeper. He had to die! The thought startled him, but it just rang, over and over, and he continued in agony.

A voice was talking, distant enough that Logan knew it was outside his main door, not the bathroom door. He wanted to tell the voice to stop, but before he could, the voice was replaced with a loud ringing, and he passed out, blood splattering the bathroom floor. He was dying.

"Logan? Logan, you're just playing a stupid audio recording to mess with me, right? Logan? If you don't shut that off, I'm going to break in. I don't care what you say afterwards." Virgil paused, waiting for a response. "LOGAN?" He yelled, hitting the door with the heel of his hand. The screaming stopped, very abruptly. But that just made him more nervous. "Okay, I'm really sorry about this, but it's not like you're answering me, so..." Virgil trailed off and put a hand on the doorknob.

"Unlock," he told the doorknob, his voice doubling. It was an Order, and the knob obeyed, letting him into Logan's room. Virgil glanced around quickly. He saw nothing, but noticed that the door to the bathroom was slightly ajar, and the lights were on. A yearly planner book was sitting on Logan's bed, but other than that, not a single thing was out of place. Virgil crept towards the bathroom door, nudging it open with his foot. His anxiety upon first hearing the scream had been nothing. This was the most terrifying thing in his life.

"PATTON? ROMAN? WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" He yelled. Moments later, Roman, brandishing his sword, and Patton came up behind him.

"What-" the sword fell out of his hands onto the ground.

"LOGAN!"

"Don't just stand there! He's bleeding out! Roman, grab some towels. Patton, bandages. Go!"

They scattered. Logan was dying.


	4. Chapter 4

Usually when a person has just had a near-death experience, they're allowed to sleep for a while. Such was not the case for Logan.

He was awakened by the others yelling at each other. He couldn't hear specific words, but the sound of angry overlapping voices was unmistakable. They were fighting. Most likely over him.

He had known that this was a completely likely outcome. It was just a really bad one.

His removal not being successful would bring the rest of the gears to a halt, bringing about the exact disaster he had been trying to avoid. Why couldn't they have just stayed out of it?

The yelling began to make his head hurt. He looked around, assessing the situation. He was laying on the couch, a blanket draped over him. A fuzzy thought in the back of his mind reminded him that corpses usually had sheets draped over them as well. This felt startlingly similar. His right wrist, including part of his hand and forearm was wrapped in white bandages.

He threw off the blanket and sat up, letting the blood rush from his head. Then he swung his feet over the edge of the couch and stood up shakily. He lasted about two seconds before his knees buckled, and he hit the edge of the couch with a loud thud.

The yelling stopped, which was replaced with low voices, then footsteps. Virgil's head came into view, and soon after, the rest of his body.

"Guys, he's awake. He already tried to walk, Logan, you really shouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? Why?" He at least managed to raise himself back up onto the couch.

"You'll hurt yourself. Patton can you go get him some water?"

Logan mumbled back a response.

"What?"

"I _said_ maybe that was the point."

Virgil froze. Roman tensed beside him.

"Logan..."

"Oh please. You really think all of this-" he gestured to his right arm, scars and all. "-was an accident? I was trying to kill myself. And with good reason. You all just interfered. If you would just move now, I can take care of it."

"Well. This changes things."

"No duh, Princey. Look, Logan. Look at me."

Logan humored him and locked eyes.

"I get it. Your head is a really scary place right now."

Logan rolled his eyes.

"But we're here to help you. We're going to help you, and you won't be so scared. It might take a while, butI promise you'll feel better."

"Right. Thank you for the water, Patton."

"Pat, did you hear that whole thing?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, we're going to have to talk about this. You guys go ahead." Virgil glanced at Logan. "You're probably still tired. Why don't you try to get some more sleep? We'll be in to check on you, if no one's in here when you wake up, just yell. Okay?"

The other two were already down the hallway, engrossed in whisperingand expecting Virgil to follow along in seconds.

But if they were expecting him to just be obedient and play along, they was very wrong. Logan had already messed everything up, what would a little more hurt?

"No, actually. Did you read my note?"

Virgil flinched. "Um, yeah. We did."

"Then why am I still here?"

"What?"

"I clearly explained that currently, me being here only hinders Thomas as a whole. Me being gone will be a great benefit. Does that not make sense?"

Virgil chuckled, then put a hand over his hand sheepishly.

"Sorry. It's just... you think we don't listen to you, right?"

Logan nodded stiffly.

"Well, I do, at the least. Because I can tell you that that reasoning is chock-full of cognitive distortions."

Logan blinked at him. Once. Twice. His mind had stalled, trying to understand. Then it dawned on him.

"And here I thought you were finally on our side."

Now it was Virgil's turn to be confused.

"What are you talking about? Logan-"

"You tricked us all! You're working with them! You were never with us!" He accused. "It was all a plot. You don't fool me, Anxiety. You're as bad as the rest of them."

And suddenly it was three years earlier. Logic was hurling these same insults at him, refusing to believe that he was different.

Logan struggled to his feet, standing above Virgil.

"You're just here to make everyone think they're in control, while you manipulate us all from behind. You're a Puppetmaster, working to destroy Thomas from the inside. You knew that keeping me here would help with your plan, so you told the others to save me. You knew!"

Anxiety gave him the same terrified look he had those years earlier, giving only the slightest hesitation before bolting out of the living room.

With that, he was alone. Logan realized that he had stumbled upon a tactic. If he could just turn all the other sides against him, they wouldn't interfere the next time. Logic would finally prevail.


	5. Chapter 5

After this incredible realization, Logic realized that instead of hiding out in his room like he had planned, he would stay in the living room- a better location to lure the others to him.

He propped his legs across the couch and summoned his phone. He pulled up one of his bookmarked websites, a Dailymotion video of the Reichenbach Fall episode from Sherlock. He hit play, and settled in for an hour and twenty-seven minutes of bliss.

But barely ten minutes into the video, Patton came into the room.

"Um, hey Logan," he smiled and gave Logic a little wave. It was all soobviously fake.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" He didn't even look up from his phone.

"Oh." Patton paused. "I just wanted to talk."

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Morality?"

"Logan? You can call me Patton."

" _Morality_?"

With one word, Logic had shattered his heart.

"Yes?"

"You're not wanted here."

"I can tell."

Just as Logic had never been one for emotional manipulation, Morality had never been one for snark. His actions was changing them all.

Morality disappeared from his peripheral vision, presumably down the hallway, and Logic continued to watch the video he had never even bothered to pause.

Just as the episode was nearing its climax, Roman came into the room and stood behind Logan.

"The Reichenbach Fall? Logan, you really shouldn't-"

"How many times do I have to tell you thick-headed imbeciles? Stop trying to convince me. It will inevitably end in failure anyways."

"What the hell?" The cap on Roman's anger started to slip. "Logan-"

"Don't call me that!" Logic snapped, silencing the other side. "I am Logic, refer to me as such."

"What? Whatever! You don't understand! Do you know how much you've hurt Virgil and Patton with this whole thing?"

"And of course _you_ don't care."

"No! I care!"

Logic scoffed. "Doesn't seem like it. Get used to it, you're a failure. You can't take your shiny samurai sword and slay this problem." They locked eyes, one giving the challenge while the other decided if he should accept.

"I can sure try."

Then he, too, stalked off. Not in retreat, mind you. Just biding his time.

Nevertheless, the seed had been planted.


	6. Chapter 6

"And why should I help you?"

"You owe me. You may be Deceit, but you know when I'm right."

"Okay, _Logic_. I'll play along. What's your plan?"

"All you have to do is lie. Isn't that your specialty?"

"I think we both know quite a bit about specialties."

Logic stepped neatly around the mind trap, already tiring of the game, and got to the point.

"I know about your thought implanting abilities." He paused to assess Deceit's reaction.

"I prefer to think of them as suggestions." Sugar dripped from his words, and Logic tried not to gag.

"Fine. Your _suggestions_. Whatever the name, you can tell us what to think. I want you toconvince the others that I don't belong here. They want to leave me alone. They want me _out_. Think about it. Once I'm gone, you'll have more control."

Deceit's eyes brightened with greed, oblivious to the fact that Logic was speaking blatant lies of commission. He knew that the others would be much stronger without him, not weaker. But Deceit wasn't the only one of them that was a master of persuasion. It was a simple matter of figuring out what the other wanted and playing on that. Deceit wanted power, and whatever would be in his self-interest. Logic would bluff and offer him both.

Deceit gave a light shrug, feigning indifference. "Fine, I'll do it. It's your funeral. But don't worry, I'll make sure to bring flowers." His smirk betrayed a sharp fang that glinted in the light before he sank out.

Logic rolled his eyes. Had he not suffered through enough dramatics living with Roman for almost thirty years now? But the cost was dwarfed by the benefits he would receive.

He rose back up into the living room, glancing around briefly to make sure his absence hadn't been noticed. He summoned a notebook and pen, and began planning his second and hopefully final attempt. Perhaps something with a bit more... kick.

But he had hardly begun when Roman burst into the room. Logic wondered vaguely if he should've given Deceit some credit for working so quickly. Doubtful. Roman was often like this.

"What did you do? I don't know what's going on, but Anx-" Roman stopped, confused by the words coming out of his mouth, but the shock wore off within seconds. Perhaps Deceit had earned credit after all. "VIRGIL! What did you do to Virgil? He's a mess!"

"What do you mean?"

"Patton's calming him down from a panic attack! Which is only after he's come out of his room for the first time since he ran in there after talking to you! Patton's nice tactic isn't working, so listen to me! Whatever you said hurt Virgil. He hasn't been this bad since before Accepting Anxiety!"

Logic finally looked up. His neutral expression nudged a thought lingering in the edge of Roman's mind, and everything clicked.

"This wasn't an accident, was it? It wasn't a 'wait, I'm sorry' moment. You meant to hurt him."

"Took you long enough," Logic mumbled.

"Took me long enough?" Roman was practically shrieking now. "What's wrong with you? Why do you want to hurt us?"

"For the last time! This is helping you!" Logic's calm had worn off. "Of course I meant to hurt him! And I'm going to keep hurting you all until I'm gone. If that's the only way, I'm going to do it. And as far as I can see, that's my best option right now." As the words flew out his mouth, Logic regretted them. He shouldn't have said that much, but anger overpowered his filter.

Roman replied, something about him being crazy, but Logic was engrossed in figuring out how to fix his self-created mistake.

He hated doing damage control.

"Deceit!" He called. The side rose up and sneered at him.

"So what? Am I your lapdognow, always awaiting your summons?"

Roman now switched topics to cover his confusion, hurling insults at Deceit and Logic, accusing them of working together. Which wasn't wrong, to be fair.

"You're free to do whatever you want. Just remember that right now, going along with me is within your best interests. Now, silence him."

Deceit made a sloppy gesture, and Roman's hand flew over his mouth, silencing the room.

"Much better. Now, I know I said I would never do this again, but it won't matter soon." Logic placed a hand on one of Roman's shoulders, freezing him in place. "Help me wipe his memory."


	7. Chapter 7

Together, they erased less than a minute of Roman's memory, leaving everything up until Logan's rant. The last thing Roman thought he had said was "What's wrong with you? Why do you want to hurt us?"

"I can work with that," Logic declared, still freezing Roman to the spot. "You have my gratitude."

"And here I thought you had learned not to give out such things so flippantly."

"I live to disappoint." It was almost depressing how easily Virgil's self-depreciation rolled off his tongue. "And a tip. I believe that currently, Patton would be a good place to start, although he's not alone."

He was only given the response of a curt nod before being left alone to deal with the problem at hand. He sighed, and made sure to angle himself on the couch exactly as he had been the first time. Then he allowed Roman to unfreeze.

As Roman started back into time, Logic gave his already thought-outreply to his question.

"What's wrong with _me_? I feel like the question could be directed right back at you. Coming in here, when I've told you again and again to stay out, and questioning me like I've been arrested. Is that your new fantasy? First a prince, then a police officer? What's next? A Dark Side?"

Logic's neck was suddenly very close to the edge of Roman's sword.

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to them."

"Oh, I don't know," Logic chuckled. "I can see it now.Ego, maybe? Pride?"

Roman's grip tightened on the handle of the blade.

"What are you going to do?" Logic taunted. "Slit my throat? _Kill_ _me_? Go ahead. It'll save me some work."

"I don't know what's going on. But I'll figure it out. This is not the Logan we know. I'm going to get him back." Roman gave him one more hateful stare, and left, sheathing his sword. He was out of earshot by the time Logic spoke again.

"I don't think you understand. There's nothing left for you here. Only Logic."


	8. Chapter 8

Logic decided it was finally time to retire back to his room to finalize some details and be safe from the others barging in. But when he tried to rise up, he hit a barrier. One he recognized.

He rose back up into the living room and spun, throwing the first thing he touched- a pillow. It hit the wall, and Logic restrained himself from screaming. This was all Anxiety'sfault! His allegedly fellow left brain side had played innocent to the others, gaining their trust and furthering his work for the Dark Sides by barricading Logic from his own room.

He stared at the pillow on the ground. No matter what Virgil had done, he had still reacted with rash anger, as he had during the interaction with Roman. Not to mention the fact that he had failed in his initial attempt. The blood loss must have been messing with his head, because he still hadn't punished himself for any of it. Now that he had gotten rid of the others for a while, he could cut in peace.

He walked over to the kitchen, only to find that the knife rack was missing. Predictable, but not an interference. He would just summon a-

His summoning wasn't working. He couldn't summon anything.

ANXIETY!

He was going to pay for this. He was going to-

Anxiety burst into the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Logic turned to see Anxiety in the doorway.

"Logan! Don't worry, I know what's wrong! It's Deceit, he's been... I don't know, poisoning our minds or something, making us think things that we don't really mean. Like, he had us all convinced that we hated you, but then I went into your room and it all made sense. Logan, we can help you now!"

"What are you going on about?"

Anxiety's tendency to ramble without bothering to disclose what in the world he was even talking about was annoying at best, and Logic was not in the mood.

"This isn't your fault! I knew it! It's all Deceit!"

Ah. Logic had thought that he, at least, would have figured it out. Being Anxiety, shouldn't he understand that grasping at straws only yielded disappointment?

"So sorry to crush your dreams, but Deceit was acting under my orders."

"What?" For the first time since entering the room, Anxiety hesitated, unsure of his words.

"I told him to do those things." Running the other's previous words through his mind once more, a thought occurred to him. "Wait, how did you erase the thoughts? And I thought my room was barricaded!"

"I guess because your room is so logical, it overpowered the lies? I don't know, don't yell at me! You're the only one it's barricaded from, it was Roman's idea, so that you couldn't hurt yourself again."

"But you were still the one that barricaded it! Even after Deceit! I knew not to trust him." Logic scowled. "Nevermind. I guess now is as good a time as any." He raised a hand to summon something before wincing, remembering. "And my summoning?"

"Same reason. Listen, just sit down for a second, I'll get the others in here, and we can-"

No. Don't call me that. I am Logic, not Logan. I think logically. You need to stop harboring a hope that you're going to find a magic solution. Look at me. Anxiety, you need to stop trying. I'm done with this all. I'm tired of you taking away everything that is rightfully _mine_."

"This is for your own safety-"

"I _don't_ want to hear it. I'm going to die, and I won't let you, or any of the others stop me."

He saw a concerning glint of determination in Anxiety's eyes.

"Then maybe you need a reminder of why living is so good."

"What?"

Anxiety stepped froward. And like the idiot he was, grabbed Logic and kissed him.

Logic's brain stopped. What was going on? Why was Virgil trying to kiss him? This did not feel good, what was he trying to accomplish here?

Virgil pulled back, cupping Logic's face in his hands.

"Logan, please. We can't live without you. _I_ can't live without you. We love you. We can help you."

"Stop. Stop, stop, stop." Logic's head was spinning, all the data blurring together. This was not right. This was not going to help. Not now, when he was so close.

"Logan, please."

"Shut up!" Logic shoved him off, not even caring when Anxiety grunted in pain, and ran down the hallway to Roman's room. He pulled the door shut behind him, locking it in the same motion before leveling his gaze on Roman.

"I'm done playing games. It's time to get this over with."


	10. Chapter 10

"What do you need?"

Unlike his usual tone, inflicted with emotion and grandeur, Roman's voice had a cool smoothness to it. Deceit's power had a way of softening people. Their voices, opinions, resilience. It made them malleable.

Logic held up a hand, grasping the tool. "You know what I want." Want. Not need. He made sure that even in his state, the creative side understood that he didn't _need_ anything from him. "If you won't give them to me, I'llsimply get my summoning back. But that won't be necessary, will it?"

"Of course not. How many do you need?" Roman twirled the pen he held in his hand, clicking it occasionally.

"One will do."

"Then one you'll have."

Roman waved his hand in a needlessly complicated gesture, assuring Logic that there was still some of the annoying idiot under the layers of manipulation.

Then Logic had everything he needed. The plan could continue as expected. However, he still had to get out of Roman's room.

"I believe that Anxiety is standing outside your door, attempting to talk to me. Would you distract him?"

"Of course. But Logic?"

"Yes?"

"An idea. I know what you're planning, so what about a... public show? Think about it."

Logic kept his expression in check, betraying nothing. "I'll consider it."

"Wonderful." Roman slipped out of his room, leaving Logic alone.

He should do it now. It would be simple. But Roman's suggestion tugged at the back of his mind. It made sense. A sort of... closure for the others. Him doing this to them could allow them to convince themselves that his departure was justified, even though they wouldn't listen to his own Logic. He owed them that, at least.


	11. Chapter 11

After Roman had disposed of Anxiety, he came back to his room, where Logic was still standing.

"So, you considered my proposal."

"I've decided you are right, in a way." It almost pained him to admit it, to see the other side's ego grow another size. "Although I suppose you had additional thoughts?"

"Of course. You know Heathers, of course?"

"I'm not sure I like where this is going."

A short explanation later, Logic shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. This is something you would do. Not me."

"Oh come on, _Logic_." Roman drew out his title. "Can't you ever have a little fun? It has some poetic value, anyways."

Poetic value. Logic almost laughed. "You know what? Fine. I'll bite. If you can pull this off, I'll play along. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Roman shot him a suspicious glance. "Now, will you leave my room?"

Logic gave him a curt nod, and ducked back into the hallway. After a cursory glance into the living room to make sure there was nothing he wanted, he disappeared down a hallway of old dreamscape locations to wait out until the next day.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a heavy reference to the musical Heathers in this chapter. I strongly recommend you listen to the song while reading the end of this. If you aren't already familiar with the musical, the song is Our Love is God, starting in the writing with "Get off the fence" and the timestamp of 3:57 in the song

Here it was. His third chance. Wasn't the third time a charm, as the saying goes? If charms could get him what he wanted, Logic would hope for that charm.

As the minutes leading up to 3:00 pm ticked down, that same stupid giddy excitement he had felt only days ago returned. It had been a battle, but he was almost there. So close, he could almost taste it.

As the clock above the TV chimed, Logan came out into the room, with a hand tucked behind his leg, just out of view.

The other three looked up at him. They were there, as Roman had promised. Anxiety with his phone and a fidget cube, Morality holding an empty cup, and Roman, who had previously been talking. But silence had fallen with the change of the hour, and all their attention was on him.

Logic locked eyes with Roman, who nodded. Music began to play from nowhere. This was it. This was how he was going to go. _Get_ _off_ _the_ _fence_. _Get_ _off_ _the_ _damn_ _fence_.

"We can start and finish wars."

He looked at Morality.

"We're what killed the dinosaurs."

He looked at Anxiety.

"We're the asteroid that's overdue."

He looked at Roman.

"The dinosaurs will turn to dust."

He looked at them. His family. This was all for them.

"They'll die because we say they must."

He raised the gun to his mouth, and pulled the trigger. 


	13. Chapter 13

Three things happened in rapid fire succession.

The gun clicked

Virgil snapped his fingers

Logan passed out

 

When he wakes up, Virgil's weighted blanket is laying on top of him. He's in his own room, and Roman's standing over him.

"Hey?"

Logan wants to feel angry. He wants to yell and scream and ask him why. But all his energy is gone. He's so tired. His every action for a long time now had been fueled with anger and utter self hatred. Without that energy, he had nothing left. What would it hurt to just listen to them? It's not like he had anywhere else to go.

"Hey."

"I'm going to get the others," Roman promises, ducking out into the hallway for only a moment before coming back in.

Soon, they were all there again. Logan gingerly sat up, propping his body against the headrest.

"What happened? I had the gun. I had the bullet. What?"

Roman gave him a smile. "If we're still working with a Heathers analogy here, it was a reverse ich lüge bullet. It would be completely real until you pulled the trigger, then it would disappear."

"Hence the click."

"Hence the click. Do you want to keep asking scattered questions, or should I just explain the whole thing?"

"Sure. Explain. I'm exhausted." He resisted crying, as much as he wanted to.

"That's our one and only Emo Nightmare's doing. He made you pass out, and now he's sapping your strength."

Virgil gave an apologetic shrug. "Sorry. It's not like we have an IV. Plus, last time we tried this, you were too worked up for us to even talk to you."

"But anyways! Let's start from the beginning. Cue the flashback music."

"Don't you dare," Logan whispered.

"Fine. It started after you woke up the first time. You talked to Virgil, he went into his room and wouldn't come out, then Pat went in to talk to you, he came back, and wouldn't say anything other than that you wouldn't listen to him, so I came in to talk to you. That didn't work, so I came back to where the others were, only to find Patton calming Virgil down from a panic attack. I storm back in, and you're not there. I'm super confused, so I'm almost back up the stairs, but you suddenly pop back up. I assumed you had gone to your room, so I made a mental note to have V block it off late. I went back upstairs for a couple of minutes, but saw that Virge and Pat weren't there. I finally came down, and yelled at you."

"I wasn't in my room," Logan said with a resigning sigh.

"Huh?"

"I was talking to Deceit."

The room went silent.

"Oh. I assumed you had planned this before... your first, y'know."

"No. It was only then that I would employ the help of a Dark Side."

Virgil winced.

Against his will, tears fell from Logan's eyes.

"My apologies, Virgil. Those comments I made about you were to further my own twisted agenda. It was truly awful of me to do."

"I... thanks, Lo."

Oblivious to the moment, Roman continued, "Sorry to interrupt, but... after you talked to Deceit, I came in, yelled at you, and then you just brushed me off and made me mad, I stormed off-"

"That's not the whole story," Logan said, not even looking at the others anymore.

"What?"

Logan explained about wiping his memory. "That was also right after I summoned my gun. While you were upstairs, most likely. The only thing I forgot were bullets."

"Woah. That's... really woah."

"Sorry. Please continue. I'd like to know how you figured everything out."

"Right. Um, so, I went into your room, and Virgil was there. He was looking through some of your stuff, and I mentioned that he should block off your room and summoning. He did that, and then he got all excited and talking about something with Deceit-"

"I had thought that Deceit had done something to you, and your mind, so I stormed into the living room where you were-"

"In the meantime, I started thinking. When I had come into your room, it was like a fog had lifted off my brain. My thoughts weren't cloudy and hateful towards you. I could think rationally. So I figured out that Deceit was actually messing with _our_ minds, not yours. I went back into my room, and only a minute later, you burst in."

"Because you were running away from me-"

"Aaaaaaand then you showed me the gun. Everything clicked. I knew you were going to try to kill yourself again, so I gave you the reverse ich lüge bullet. That really has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"Of course, Princey." Virgil patted him on the back.

"And then I suggested the "public show" as a rescue mission. And it worked! When you told me to get rid of Virgil, I just took him into your room and explained. After you went and hid who knows where, we got Patton in there too and planned the whole thing out. Everything fell into place, and here you are now."

"I guess I owe you all an apology. My mind was not working as it should, and I'm just broken. That's what this was all about." Logan looked down at his hands, disgust written across his face.

Virgil knelt down to look him in the eye.

"We looked, really looked at your theory this time. You said that you're the only broken gear in this machine. But look at us. We're all a little broken. I'm the personification of anxiety, Patton's got some communication issues, and Princey has an ego bigger than his head. No one is one hundred percent perfect. I think we're all broken in little way, and we help each other through those. We can help you too, Logan."

"I... think I would like that."

"Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

Virgil wrapped him in a hug, and soon, Logan was surrounded by sides. His family, who could help him. Maybe he could revise his theory. Maybe he really wasn't broken after all. And if he was, it might just be okay.


End file.
